Meri Life Ka Fanda

1)Boy: kiya tum meri life me chand bana pasand karogi? . . . Girl: yes. . . . . Boy: To jitna chand do0r hai utni do0r dafa ho jao.... 

2)Katrina ki coffee me ek machchar gira, usne wo pee li. . . . . . . . . . Tabhi Machchar ka baap katrina k kaan k pass aake kuch kaha : . . . . . . aur katrina behosh ho gayi... . . . . . Usne kaha tha : Tumhare pet me mera bacha hai.... 

3)Solid Beijjati: . . Ek Doctor ne naya clinic khola. . . Thodi daer bad ek Aadmi aaya. . Doctor ne apne aap ko busy show karne k liye, telephone ka receiver uthaya aur appointment denay k andaz me bolne laga. . Fir phone rakne k baad... . Doctor Aadmi se: Haan bataiye kya hua? . . . Aadmi: Bsnl se aaya hun, telephone thik karne k liye..... 

4)Smoking effects LIPS . . Drinking effects LIVER . . Love effcts HEART . . |But| . . The most danger 1 is STUDY . . It effcts the BRAIN Direct komma . 

5)Ek raat 2 baje bahot tez baarish ho rahi thi.. . . Ghar ki ghanti baji to aadmi ne gehri neend se uth kar darwaazakhola.. . . . Darwaaze par bheege huye Pappu ji khade the.. Pappu ji ne aadmi se request ki:" plz dhakka laga doge kya.. ?? . . Aadmi neend me tha isiliye mana kar ke andar aa gaya... Lekin phir usse guilty feel hua.. Usne socha baarish mein koi meri help na karta to.. ?? Woh utha, darwaaza khola aur uss ne awaaz lagaai:" Kya tumhe ab bhi dhakka chahiye Pappu.. ?? . . . Awaaz aayi:" HAAN" . . Man:" Theek hai , lekin tum ho kahaan.. ?? . - - - - - - - - - Pappu bola: "YAHAN GARDEN MEIN JHULE PAR..? 

6)Ek choti bachhi apne Papa k sath ja rahi thi.. Ek pul par paani bahut tezi se beh raha tha... PAPA:-Beta daro mat, mera haath pakad lo. BACHI:-Nahi papa,aap mera haath pakad lo. Papa(muskura kar):- Dono me kya antar hai beta..? Bachhi:-Agar mai aapka haath pakdu aur achanak kuch ho jaye,to shayad mai aapka haath chhod du...LEKIN agar aap mera haath pakdenge,to mai jaanti hu ki chahe kuch bhi ho jaye,AAP MERA HAATH KABHI NAHI CHHODENGE..!!! GREAT LOVE...! Always remember our 1st love is our parents 

7)Phoolwala: "Sahab apni gf ke liye phool le lo.. . Boy: "Meri gf nahi hai.. . Phoolwala: "To mangetar ke liye le lo... Boy: "Meri mangetar nahi hai.. . Phoolwala: "To biwi ke liye hi le lo.. . Boy: "Meri biwi bhi nahi hai... . . . . . Phoolwala: "Aye duniya ke khush kismat insaan meri taraf se ye phool free me le le.." 

8)Ek moti aurat ne chor pakda aur uss par beth gayi.. . . phir naukar se boli ja police ko bula la . . . . . Naukar:" Meri chappal kho gayi hai... . . . . . . . . . chor chillaya:" Saale meri pehen le par jladi ja.. 

9)On a call.. Girl:" Kaun ho tum.. ?? . Boy:" Hasrat Teri.. . Girl:" Dekhte ho kya.. ?? . Boy:" Surat teri.. . Girl:" Karte ho kya.. ?? . Boy:" Pooja teri.. . Girl:" kafir ho kya.. ?? . Boy:" Soch hai teri.. . Girl:" Chahte ho kya.. ?? . Boy:" Mohobbat teri.. . Girl:" Pachtaoge.. . Boy:" Kismat meri.. . Girl:" Rakhi Sawant hoon me.. . . . . . Boy:" Ohh teri.. Sorry aunty wrong number.. 

10)Santa Poori Zindagi . . Sochta Raha . . . Sochta raha . . . Sochta raha . . Sochty sochty mar gya . . . Meri Behan K 3 bhai hain tu Mery 2 Q. 

11)Girlfriend to 3-4 honi chahiye . . . . . . . . . . . Ek to Daayan bhi thi 

12)=== GAME TIME==== Game Bahot Simple Hai Sabko Apna Name Iss tarah Likhna Hai:" A N E E S A Note:" ek Comment Me Sirf ek Alphabet. Agar Kisi Ne Aapke Name Ke Bich Me Apne Name Ka Alphabet Dala toh PuraName Phir Se Likhna Hoga... SO Lets Start.. GAME STRT NOW FIRST 3 Winners Ke Name Next Post Par Publish Honge Along With Profile Picture RULE==> MUST LIKE D POST ek Comment Me Sirf ek Alphabet Letz See Who Will Be The Winner. 

13)Gf:" Jaanu ab tum change ho gaye ho.. . . . BF:" Wo kyun.. ?? . . GF:" Ab main tumhe KISS karti hu to tum Eyes Close Nahi Karte.. . . . BF:" Saali Haramkhor, Pichli Baar Close ki thi to Mere Wallet se 100 Rs. Gayab The.. 

14)Pappu pinki ko pasand karta hai aur pinki pappu k bhai ko, .. lekin pappu k bhai ko pinki ki behan achi lagti hai .. aur pinki ki behan pappu ko pasand karti hai. .. Hala ki pappu pehle hi pinki ko chahta ha. .. Ab jab k pinki ko pappu acha nahin lagta aur pappu ka bhai pinki k liya razi nai hai aur pappu pinki ki behan se pyar nahin karta jab k pinki ki behan ko pappu ka bhai acha nahin lagta. . . . . . To ye unka personal problem hua, aapkyu apna dimag kharab karte ho . 

15)Ladka to ladkii:- Agar tum batao ki iss bag ke andar kya hai, Toh sare ande (eggs ) tumare, . . . agar tum batao kitne eggs toh 8 ke 8 tumare . . . . aur agar tum bata do ke ande kis ke hai toh woh murgi bhi tumari. . . . . . . . Ladki: yaar...., koi hint toh do na plz ? 


16)Facebook me apna muqam kuch is tarah se banao ki... agar Mar bhi jao to log ye bole... "Banda asal zindagi me to kabhi milta nahi tha, par facebook par REGULAR update kartha tha. 

17)Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai : hii friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..? . . . . . . . . . . Boy : tere baap ne 15-20 hazar ka mob. Leke diya hai to ghar me 500rs ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga.... Uss Mein dekh le,,...!!!....humse kya poochti hai 'bhootni' kahi ki....;D ;D 

18)Wo Kehti Hai: . Phone Na Kiya Kro "DEAR" . Mama Hoti Hai "NEAR" . Papa Se Lgta Hai "FEAR" . Bat Nhi Hoti "CLEAR" . Dewaro Ke Bhi Hote Hy "EAR" . Is Liye FB use Karo . "DEAR".. :p :O :/ 

19)Jab sa reply ka option comment ma aya ha larkio na comment karna he chor dia. ^_^ U knw why???? . . larki 1 comment karti ha or 10 larka reply karta hain. 1 really? 2 nae yaar 3 qasam sa 4 hello 5 beautiful name 6 kia haal ha 7 kaha rehti ho 8 hi 9 hmm 10 agree wid u :D :D :O ladki set kre ka naya tareeka :D 

20)Facebook pe kisi ladki se chat karne se accha... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Kisi Kutte ko patthar maaro... Atleast dhang se reply to karta hai..! 

21)1 behra scooter khich ke le jaa raha tha . . 2nd behra - kyua hua Petrol khatam ho gaya kya? . ... . . 1st behra - nahi yaar Petrol khatam ho gaya. . . 2nd- acha muje laga Petrol khatam ho gaya :D 

22)Pyar kabi na krna pardesi se . . . . Rote Rote naina thak jayenge . . . . Pyar krna ho to karo hamesa padosi se . . . . . . . Roj Balcony se darshan ho jayenge ;) 

23)Once Rajnikanth teachs a kid..... How to open the door without Ringing the bell . . . . . Now that kid is know as CID inspector Daya....!!! 

24)A boy to Police inspector! Sir mera dost kuch din sy laa pata hai . . . Inspector : aakhri baar kahan dekha tha? . . . Boy : whatsapp pe 3 din pehle ka last seen hai.. 

25)When I got enough confidence the stage was gone.. When I was sure of losing I won.. When I needed people the most they left me.. When I learnt to dry my tears I found a shoulder to cry on.. When I mastered the skill of hating Someone started loving me from the core of ones heart 

26)When I got enough confidence the stage was gone.. When I was sure of losing I won.. When I needed people the most they left me.. When I learnt to dry my tears I found a shoulder to cry on.. When I mastered the skill of hating Someone started loving me from the core of ones heart Thats LIFE! No matter what you plan you never know what life has planned for you.. 

27)Rone Ki Saza Hy Na Rulane Ki Saza Hai........ Ye Dard Mohabat Ko Nibhane Ki Saza Hai..... Haste Hai To Aankh Se Nikal Aate Hai Aansu....... Ye Ek Shaksh Ko Be-Inteha Chahne Ki Saza Hai... 

28)Santa Omlet Bana Raha Tha . Usne Jaise Hi Anda Toda To Anda Khali Nikla.. . . . . . Santa Hairan Hokar Bola- . . . . . . Saala Ghor Kalyug Hai . Ab Murgiya Bhi ABORTION Karwane Lagi Hai O.o 

29)Interviewer: Just imagine you are in 8th floor . . . . It caught fire How will you escape? . . . Pappu : Its very simple . I will stop my imagination..!!. 

30)Jalebi Ko English Mein SYRUP FILLED RING Aur Pakoray Ko English main FRITTERS Kehte Hein. Kuch seekh lo yar.har waqt pochtay rehte ho sabse (--) _//_ Main tou bachpan se hi intelligent hon;-) ( .)/ /) ( _/ /_ Ab batao beta k chocolate ko Hindi mein kia kehte hein? : 

31)1 Pagal Aaina Dekh Ke Sochne Laga . Isko Kahi Dekha Hai . . . . . . Thodi Der Sochne Ke Baad O Teri Ye To Wohi Hai . . . . . . . . . Jo Mere Saath Us din BAAL Katwa Raha Tha.. 

32)Boy Sends Friend Request To Girl On Facebook :- Girl :- Kaunn Ho Tum ? Boy :- Hasrat Tumhari. Girl :- Chahte Kya Ho ? Boy : Mohhabat Tumhari. Girl:- Pachtaoge Tum. Boy :- Kismat Hamari. Girl :- Married Hoon Main. Boy: To Status Single Se Hata Manhoos Naari. 

33)A Hurted Line By A Boy, Whose Friend Request Was Not Accepted By A Girl On Facebook. "Ek Request Hi Bheji Thi Koi Rishta Thodi Bheja Tha." Lucchhii.. 

34)Namaskar! Ye hamari “SURYA UDAY” SMS sewa hai… Isme hum soe hue “aalsi logon” ko jagate hain aur baad mein Good Morning keh ke khud so jate hai GOOD MORNING 

35)Girl meri jeans 2000 ki hai. Mera top 3000 ka hai. Mere jute 1500 ke hain. Boy bus kar….. Phle chain band kar pagli…. 20 rupye wali chaddi dikh rahi hai. 

36)India is nation and Dadar is station, wha wha India is nation and& dadar is station, Do not fall in love, First complete your Education..! 

37)Khud ko karo kanjoos itna, ki har sms bhejne se pahle, service center wale call kr ke khud puchhe.. Sir ji Ru sure? bhejna hai, ki sending fail kr du? 

38)Girl: Paros wali Aunty mujhe bohat tang karti theen.. Jab b kisi ki Shadi hoti wo mere gaal kheench k kehti “AB TUMHARI BARI HAI” Phir maine un ki ye aadat khatam karwa di. Friend: Kaise ? Girl: Jab koi Mar jata tou main un k Gaal kheench k kehti.. “AB AAP KI BARI HAI” 

39)The 1 who b4 goin out for a party, facial, bleach, waxing, hair cuting/straighting, threading, toning, scrubing, moisturhng, done & put on lipstick, lipgloss, lipliner, perfume, body toner, body lotion, eye liner, eye shadow, eye maskara, foundation, face powder, rings, bracelet, neckless, nail paint, party dress, Sandle, Purse and says: yaar jalde ki bajah se kuch kar nahe payi Define boy!! The one who b4 goin to party calls his frnd & ask : “bhai, tu naha k aayega kya?” Frnd reply: chal be tere bap ki baraat hai kya.. Boys alwayz rocks…   
40)Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge? Santa: Biwi Se Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! : 

41)Edison Had Rightly Said: A Fool Can Ask More Questions, Than A Wise Can Answer.. Now We Know.. . . . . . . . . Why All Of Us ..Are Speechless During The Exam Viva. 

42)Hardest job in the world: . . . . Police sketch artist in CHINA. 

43)Bataiye… sach baat itni chubhti kyu hai..?? . . . . . . . . . . . Kyunki Sach baat mai point hota hai. 

44)Har ek boy ki dil ki khwaaish hoti hai……?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . khud kitne bade kaminey honge par larki shareef chahiye….. 

45)Ek Ladka aur ek Ladki ki shaadi hui.. Aap yakeen nahi karoge ke doosrey din hi Unka Bachaa hua khana kharab ho gaya.. Fridge me nahi rakha tha na 

46)If movies wear made by drinkers, it would be named- 1) Soda Akbar 2) Rab Ne Pila di Thodi 3) Rum de basanti 4) Hum tight ho chuke sanam 5) Beer Zaara 6) Bewde Zameen par. 

47)Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya? Nahi pata kya? . . . . . . . . Ek No. ke CHOR, jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai. 

48)Sacche Friend ki 3 Nishaniyan: 1) Kamine Kabhi call nahi karenge. 2) Zalim has~has k sms padhenge. 3) Chahe jitni beizzati karlo. Besharam SMS pura padhenge. 

49)Kahte hain.. Shaadi ki gaantth to aasman mein hi bandh jati hai.. Insan to sirf petikot salwar bra ki gaantthe kholne ke liye hi zamin par bheja jaata hai. 

50)Agar koi achha sa msg ho to use jaldi se . . . . . Paper par likh kar almari me band kar do Kahin galti se SEND na ho jaye KANJUS. 

51)Mobile ek MANDIR hai, Sim card uska DEVTA, Call karne wala PUJARI, Sms bhejne wala DANI, Padhane wala BHAKT Reply na karne wala mandir ka BHIKARI. 

52)Sur aap do, Geet hum banayege. Manjil aap chuno, Rasta hum dhikayege. Khush aap raho, khusiya hum manayege. Aur . . . . . . PAGAL aap bano, RANCHI hum le jayenge. 

53)Heart touching must read:) Ek din ek ladke ki girlfrnd ka BIRTHDAY tha. Boy was not in that city. So, he ordered 24 RED ROSE for his girlfriend. He called her up. Dear maine tumhare liye utne ROSE ain jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho. While delivering florist thought: Ye aajka mera sabse achha customer hai. Chalo ise 10 ROSE FREE me de deta hu. So, he gave 34 instead of 24. aur aaj tak ladka nahi samajh paya ki uska BREAK-UP kyu hua..! 

54)If people drink alcohol it means they are alcoholic.. . . . So.. . . . I drink fanta it means i am fantastic..??? 

55)Santa court mein judge se: Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui, meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he! Judge: to tum kya chahte ho? Santa: Badla. 

56)EXAM Aur SEX ke baad ladkiyan kaisa mehsoos karti hai! 1. Kitna LAMBA tha, 2. Kash thoda TIME aur mil jata, 3. Pehle DARR lag raha tha, par kitna EASY gaya. 

57)1 Ladke ne ek ladki ko call ki Boy: I LOVE U Jaan. Girl: Sacchi Boy: Mucchi Girl: Ek 100 ka recharge karwa do plz Boy: Sorry Didi Rong No. 

58)Girl Demanded for Ice Cream Boy Purchased It Girl: Thank U Boy: Sirf Thank U Girl: U Want Kiss Na? Boy: Arrey Romance Ki Bhuki, Aadhi Icecream De. 

59)Delhi belly spirit aage badao yeah msg sabko sunao Mangta hun to deti nahi ho, Jawaab meri baat ka. Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai, Rom-Rom jazbat ka. Muuh me lena tumhe pasand nahi, Ek bhi qatra sharab ka. Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se daalo, Balon mein phool gulab ka? Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha, Intezaar uske jawab ka. Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha ke usne pakad liya, Guldasta Gulabon ka. Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se karo, Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab ka. Usne kaha bada maza aata hai jab andar jata hai, Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar ka. 

60)Movies of school life Classes- Bardasht. Attendance- Hera pheri. Class room- No entry. Teacher- Janidushman. Exam- Evil dead. Examiner- Don. Frnd during paper- Hum aapke hai kaun? Viva- Encounter. Marking- Andha kanoon. Exam time- Qayamat. Cheating- Lage raho munna bhai. Question paper- Ek paheli. Answer paper- Kora kagaj. Result- Sadma. pass- Chamatkar. Fail- Devdas. Future- Na tum jano na hum. 

61)Jindagi behaal hai, Sur hai naa taal hai, Msgbox bhi kangal hai, kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai, yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri, mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai… 

62)Log Kehte Hai Ki Pyar Ek Aisi Bimari Hai, Jiski Koi Dawa Nahi Hoti, Hum Kehte Hai Bewfai Ek Aisi Dawa Hai, Jisse Ye Bimari Dubara Nahi Hoti… 

63)Pyaar Ke Geet Gayenge Hum; Apni Ek Nayi Duniya Basaayenge Hum; Jo In Hawaaon Se Diya Bujh Gaya; Unhe Bech Kar Philips Ke Bulb Layenge Hum..! 

64)Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi liya paper aur tasveer aapki banai socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi… 

65)Badla Hai Mausam Aur Thand Ho Gayi Hai Aapko Yaad Kiye Bina Life Adhoori Ho Gyi Hai Kya Bhula Diya Humein Ya Mobile Mein SMS Pack Scheme Hi Band Ho Gyi Hai? 

66)Neend aati hai to khaab aata hai khaab mein ek ladki aati hai, ladki ke piche uska baap aata hai phir na neend aati hai na khaab aata hai.

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